the story so far...
I suppose I should start by saying I'm a writer. I do humor, fiction, essay, the occasional screenplay, an article here and there...pretty much whatever is willing to come out of my pen at any given time. Yes. I use a pen.
How pretentious was it that I just tried to sell you on the idea that things come out of my pen and that the process is out of my control? Yeah. You must think I'm a total dick.
You're probably right.
I used to write a lot of software. Like...a lot. If you asked me then I would have said, depending on the day, "I'm a software developer" or, more often, "I'm thinking of killing the next person who asks me what I do". Those days are behind me. Sometimes I still write a little code but only when the government has super top secret projects to build web 2.0 sites for ninja cheerleaders. I'm the only guy that can do it.
Since nobody ever really knew what I did before, and just vaguely had the concept that I "work with computers", we can just leave it at that and move on. My parents are still kind of pissed that I dropped out of college, so if they find out I quit a six figure job to watch How I Met Your Mother reruns all day I might not be able to move back in with them when I run out of money.
Take a quick look around. You can find samples of my work if you click on portfolio. You can find some ways to contact me if you click on contact. I feel like most of this is pretty self-explanatory unless you are new to the internet and this is the first site you visited in which case, hi grandma. Can you please send me a pie?