Seriously…read it.  Also read the readme and known issues.  Dude I’m really not kidding, READ THE F***** MANUAL.

Because if you, like me, do not read the manual, it may take you a day and a half to do what ultimately takes about 2 hours.

I didn’t pay attention to the SQL 2005 Installation part.  I got the September CTP and just selected everything to install.  The manual says to select “SQL Server Database Services, Analysis Services, and Reporting Services, and then click Next”.  I selected everything.  And it barfed on installing Integration Services.  but a SQL 2005 barf install still takes like 20 minutes.  So I tried again after error, removing  Integration and Notification, but I thought, hey, I need tools, so I’ll install the tools.  Yeah, so installing “tools” needs a “disc 2” which..you know…I didn’t have.  So I had to go to subscriber downloads, and I saw a disc marked “tools” for the september CTP, but not “disc 2”, so I hoped that was it and downloaded it.

So 2 hours later after the download was done, and I burned the iso to a disc, I put it in.  It was awful nice of the install to wait at the “INSERT THE DAMN DISC 2 ALREADY ASSHAT” prompt…awful nice.  So I put it in, and it goes.  And goes.  And goes.  And so after like another half hour, I’m heading home.

Eat and stuff, VPN myself, log into the build server…and it has an error message.  It barfed on tools.  So I rebooted it and decided to start over in the morning.

Yeah so in the morning I tried with tools again, and 40 minutes later it horfed again.  So I decided to do only the absolute bare requirements as described when you RTFM and lo and behold, I have a SQL 2005 CTP install in like 20 minutes.  It’s mid-morning.

On to Sharepoint.  Had I RTFM I would have removed FrontPage Server Extensions.  I didn’t, so I didn’t.  And it barfed.  So I tried to start over.  But NOOOOOOO Sharepoint Portal Services is a little bitch and like, half installed.  SO I uninstall it and then uninstall FPSE, and then reinstall Sharepoint.  At this point, I’m feeling confident.  Because I STFM (skimmed the f****** manual).  Well I missed the part that said “You must install Windows SharePoint Services using the Server Farm option. This configures Windows SharePoint Services to use a remote SQL Server. Later, Team Foundation Server Setup will configure Windows SharePoint Services to use the same SQL Server instance as the rest of Team Foundation Server.”  So yeah, I didn’t do that.  But Sharepoint services installs fine and I think I’m good to go.  On to TFS.

Well, TFS understands that I have fucked up my Sharepoint install.  And it tells me.  SO I try to uninstall and reinstall.  But it no longer gives me the option to do Server Farm so I’m confused.  So I uninstall/reinstall a few more times, feeling like Derek Zoolander and Hansel trying to get the files “out of” the computer.  That leads to this post (thank you Jason for the smartassed comment).  So after writing the post I realize the flaw (hence the update) and uninstall Sharepoint, then uninstall the SQL instance it created, then reinstalled Sharepoint correctly.  Kinda.

Had I RTFM I would have known that I needed SEPARATE domain accounts for the TFS service and the TFS reports service.  That requirement can eat me, but whatever.  I didn’t read it, and found it out due to errors, and then had to go hat in hand to the network engineer requesting domain user accounts.  That done, I moved on.  Happy and secure that I would have TFS up in minutes.  It’s about lunch time.

Had I RTFM I would have known that TFS needed port 8080 to live.  Well I have (had) my CruiseControl site running on 8080.  Unfortunately I did not know that until the progress bar on the TFS install was a nanometer from the end, and it flipped out about some error “Error 32000 (ConfigureNTLM.exe /addntlm "Team Foundation Server" returned non-zero value: 1)”.  So I says to myself I says “self, no biggie, reconfig that site to run on port 6969 (hehe…..nice one beavis)”.  Done and done.  Retry.  Retry.  Retry.  Retry.  RETRY…. Cancel.

I can’t confirm or deny, but it appears that 8080 needs to not be in use prior to the installation of Sharepoint, or at least prior to beginning the TFS install.  Because changing it during does not help.

Okay.  No problem.  I’m in this deep.  It’s mid afternoon.   I start it over.  I changed the port so I’ll just restart the TFS install.

NO

TFS gives me the “I hate your Sharepoint install” business again like it did when I was not in Server Farm mode.  So I uninstall and reinstall Sharepoint.  Then I restart TFS install.  And it gets to a nanometer from done, and we’re back to ERROR 32000 again.  I open IIS, and sure enough, CruiseControl site is magically back on 8080.  I can’t explain it.

So I change it again.  And I restart TFS install.  And it hates sharepoint.  And I uninstall and reinstall Sharepoint.  And I restart TFS install.  And it gets to the end….no…no it doesnt…Error 32000.  Magic 8080 return.  So somewhere in the midst of reinstall uninstall I haven’t sacrificed a chicken and Sharepoint is like, rolling back my most recent IIS changes or whatever.

SO I uninstall Sharepoint.

Then I reboot.

Then I open IIS admin, and I change the port on CruiseControl site.

Then I reboot

Then I open IIS admin and I verify that it’s still changed.  It is.

Then I install Sharepoint.

And I do Server Farm.

Then I open IIS admin and I verify that it’s still changed.  It is.

Then I kick off the TFS install.  And it goes.  and goes and goes and SUCCESS!

Kinda.

So then I get some FileNotFoundException error message.  Had I RTFM…oh wait.  I did read this one.  No big deal.

Install the client tools on my laptop, connect, create new project, and I HAVE TFS UP AND RUNNING A MERE DAY LONGER THAN IT SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME.

Moral of the story:  Rob did a great job giving you a Manual to F****** Read.  Do it.  Had I done it, I would have been done installing this thing yesterday afternoon, instead of today afternoon.  I know you don’t feel like a real geek if you have to read the directions, but do it when nobody’s looking.  You’ll thank me later.